The Art of Injury

About a month ago, I fell down a flight of stairs. This I did for no apparent good reason other than pure clumsiness coupled with a dose of misfortune and amazingly slippery bare feet. While speed has thus far eluded my feet in my running efforts, my tushy took the wheel and could not be slowed during its accelerated decent down our slick steps from hell. Fortunately, I sustained nothing worse than massive bruises on my right hip and ankle. Since then, I have been unable to run with any significant effort and have resigned myself to low impact walks in the pre-dawn hours of the day.

Not to be outdone, my running bestie and sister in clumsiness Kristiann sent me this awesome text yesterday:

cropped k's foot

…Her boot looked reminiscent of a horrifically fugly running shoe a local expert running store tried to convince me would surely help my running efforts, but that’s another story. Turns out she ran both of her last two half marathons with a stress fracture in her foot. She had it Xray’d previously because of nagging foot pain, but the sly fracture was missed and was only confirmed this week. The poor girl is completely laid up with a forced non weight bearing status on her left foot. Feeling sad and probably self-conscious (because LOOK at that boot) she sent me multiple pictures of her woeful tootsies.K's boot w:sneakerk's boot w:bowlk's boot w:TV

Naturally, I did the only thing I could think of, being unable to pry my eyes off the misshapen orthopedic eyesore encasing her foot. I had a ball! And now, I am sharing it with the world, so that others may be free to tap into their creative, artistic selves and redesign and embellish otherwise unflattering orthopedic apparel.

k's shark foot

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun…AAAAARGH!

 

K's foot teeth:tongue

Pbbblt.

k's running rocker

(**NOTNIKE is in no way related to NIKE)

And meet Phteven:

phteven

K's foot teeth2

Come on.  THATHS PHUNNY!

k's vampire boot

Sooo scary.

And for the latest online optical illusion:

k's 2 feet

Or is it three?

What orthopedic disasters have you had to endure? Feel free to decorate and otherwise deface your own photos (or those of your siblings), and leave a picture in the comments. It’s guaranteed to help you heal!

 

P.S. Just because I love my sister and want to help her “heel.”

L's bruise

My hip monster. 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “The Art of Injury

  1. Another gem of creative writing coupled with artistry! And I was sorry to learn via your blog of our third daughter’s latest injury.?? Mom

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

    • Thanks Mom! Kristiann lets me publicize all her affairs. You have to start a blog and talk incessantly about yourself and all your family members without their fore knowledge, and then she’ll magically start leaking information to you.

      Like

  2. Pingback: Sole Searching | My Great Running Blog

  3. Pingback: Adding Insult to Injury: Flat Pancakes. | My Great Running Blog

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